if you are a reader of compTron's blog, you have already learned that earlier this year 'Tron and i decided have a blog-off. specifically to focus our efforts on writing bad blogs. i give you category 1 - philosophy/life reflections:
people hurt people. that's life, i guess. but, for me, knowing that doesn't make it any less disappointing when it happens. the other day i was beligerantly singing beyonce's lyrics while riding the bike home from work:
"you must not know about me
you must not know about me
i can have another you by tomorrow
so don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable"
and it struck me how true to life everything about that song is. the worst emotional slap in the face i can think of is feeling like someone very close to me just doesn't get me after all. adding insult to injury is when that discovery is made by uncovering some sort of manipulation or dishonesty. that feeling of: did you honestly think i'd take that from you? and in that sense, anybody can be replaced. i can walk away from foul play without thinking twice about where i'm headed. but not without a lot of bitterness and hurt about where i'm coming from.
and that comes across so much in beyonce's tone. everything about her song - wanting to be rid of all his belongings, having to prove her feminity and appeal - all of it reeks of doubt. if she was so sure that there was another - better - version of him out there, and that she was strong enough to find someone more deserving of her love, there'd be no need to sing about it. but the fact is, every person is one of a kind. you can track common traits, but at the end of the day, anybody else will just be a replacement for that something, or someone, lost.
so how do you know when it's time to walk away? to say: yes, you are replaceable. go ahead and get gone and call up on that chick and see if she is home. oops. i bet you thought i didn't know what was going on...
all right, compTron. it's on. i propose: category 2 - anecdotes.
You may ask yourself, "How did I get here?". - I'm going to tell you all about L'Eroica California in painstaking detail: Just not now. I will say though that I've given a lot to cycling over the years...